Why does no-one (apart from other poets) read poetry any more?
That’s just bullshit. Everybody reads poetry now. Or at least; I do. And I have never, and will never, consider myself a poet. I have no inclination whatsoever to write poetry, and I haven’t since I...
View ArticleIn retrospect, who seemed to have the best outlook, Mulder or Scully?
I only managed to watch the first three or four seasons of the X-Files, but you’ve got to remember, that Mulder and Scully did actually exist in a world where aliens and monsters existed. The rules are...
View ArticleWhy do we have such different personalities when we’re online? Or do we?
I’m not quite sure what personality is. I mean. I can identify several versions of myself for different social situations, but I feel like the same person within, and I don’t think it’s very often...
View ArticleWill someone please bring this madman to justice for the crimes he has...
(For the record, this is the madman, and these are the crimes). The problem comes from the fact, that as soon as you acknowledge that insanity is the only viable survival option, you’ve kind of laid...
View ArticleIf not now, when?
Now is pretty much the only viable option. Sorry. Chemically hallucinating, on one occasion, I experienced the present moment as a knife. Slicing between the huge swathes of past and future, the knife...
View ArticleCan you write me a Petrarchan sonnet featuring four of the following five...
81 I’ll not forget my journey on that bus As David, grizzled, wrestled with his toy, I stirred at his sibling’s unalloyed joy, While elder bro made nothing but a fuss, The younger calmly did his hair...
View ArticleIs there ever an appropriate time and place to carry out a half-assed autopsy...
I have never gutted a fish. I have never been in a fish mortuary. I have never been a medical examiner (fisheries department). I have never been in the film Jaws. Or a book by Peter Benchley. I have...
View ArticleCheck this out. You win five million dollars from the Publisher’s...
I’m guessing I’m not really in a position to negotiate with the aliens? They seem a tad unreasonable, but on the other hand, I kind of imagine we might be the rowdy neighbours of the galaxy. Blasting...
View ArticleWhy is Ian McKellan scared of the dark?
Because he was trapped in a box for most of his childhood. The thing to remember about Ian McKellan, is not that he is gorgeous, because you don’t need to remember that, because that notion is...
View ArticleWhat does this diagram mean?
A bit of business first. I’m not going to show you the diagram, but I have been sent a diagram. The illustrator is going to come up with their own diagram based on what I saw. You should be able to...
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